A Late Apology to My Teacher, Fudaili Jama!

Manazayer Sunday, October 4, 2026, Zuhair Al-Sarraj, manazzeer@yahoo.com. There are mistakes that appear small on the surface, but remain significant in memory, and there are apologies whose authors delay presenting them until the delay itself becomes another reason for an apology, and this is one of them. Today, I apologize to the great poet, writer, author, and activist, the venerable Professor Fudaili Jama, for an incident that happened over twenty years ago, yet has never passed from my memory. In 2005, Dr. Murtada Al-Ghali and I were in Britain at the invitation of the Sudanese Doctors Union in the UK and Ireland to participate in a conference on democratic transition, freedom, union work, and preparations for restoring legitimate unions in Sudan. When Professor Fudaili learned of our presence, he called, welcomed us, and invited us to a dinner party at his home, where he had gathered a large number of friends and colleagues in our honor. At the time, we were staying as guests of our dear friend Dr. Salih Khalafallah Babiker, a psychiatrist, in the city of Canterbury, and we had agreed to go together. However, shortly before the dinner time, Dr. Salih suffered a sudden health ailment and apologized for not being able to go, so we contacted Professor Fudaili and apologized for not attending. The professor accepted our apology, but since that moment, I have felt that I had embarrassed him in front of the guests he had invited for us, and that it was my duty to apologize to him publicly. Perhaps my feeling was harsher than the reality of the situation, but I could not shake it off. As everyone knows, since the 1970s, Professor Fudaili Jama has remained one of the distinguished Sudanese literary voices—a poet, novelist, playwright, and critic. He wrote 'Village Tears' and 'The Mahdi in the Suburbs of Khartoum,' and published several poetry collections, including 'In the Valleys of Exile,' 'Singing in a Time of Fear,' and 'Walking on a Tightrope.' Literature for Fudaili was never separate from his stance on humanity; he remained biased toward freedom and the dignity of the Sudanese people, stood against oppression and tyranny, and paid the price for that with many years in exile. Losing that evening has continued to pain and haunt me to a great extent, for I missed an opportunity I had not dreamed of to sit with a man of his stature, listen to him, and talk with him among a number of his friends whom he had brought together for our sake. Fudaili wrote: 'I have saddled my rhyme, for longing has wings that will surely carry me, gently, to my homeland.' Today, I saddle my words with an apology that is far too late: 'My venerable teacher, Fudaili Jama, all my regret and apology for not attending that evening. It was never intended to belittle your invitation, but rather an emergency circumstance beyond my control. I hope you accept my apology, even though it comes very late, and I am the one who lost out in any case.' Forgive me, Professor Fudaili; as for me, I will never forgive myself for wasting that golden opportunity to meet a human being of your stature.